


Trouble Is Just Like Love

by paperwar



Category: Natsume Yuujinchou
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-03
Updated: 2011-07-03
Packaged: 2017-10-21 05:14:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/221316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paperwar/pseuds/paperwar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He'd never wanted to do things so exactly right before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trouble Is Just Like Love

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [Natsume Yuujinchou comment meme](http://natsumeyuujinchou.dreamwidth.org/7316.html).
> 
> Title from Shawn Colvin's "Trouble."

"No, that didn't work either." Taki blew her hair out of her face and stood up, using her shoe to scuff out the circle scratched in the dirt of her backyard. Tanuma, leaning against the trunk of a tree, arms crossed, came over to join her.

"There has to be something," he said, frustration edging his voice.

Taki bit her lip and then said, "I know. I know." She gave the next stretch of the circle an especially vigorous kick. "We're getting closer, though, don't you think?"

Tanuma shrugged. "I don't know."

"Don't you feel it? Like something is there just beyond the next corner."

Tanuma's shoulders hunched slightly. "No. I haven't been feeling anything." They finished rubbing out the circle and, wiping their faces in the hot weather, sat down under the tree. "We could ask that Natori guy," he said.

Taki's hair whipped his arm from how hard she was shaking her head. "He'll tell Natsume."

“So Natsume finds out we're trying to help him. Trying not to be so useless.” He frowned.

Taki put her hand on his knee. "You know what he'll say. He'll try and stop us. Isn't it better to figure it out ourselves first?"

"Sure, if we actually manage to figure it out!" He shifted from a cross-legged position, putting his knees up and shaking off Taki's hand in the process. She startled at this, which made his stomach jump. This was all so new: she was his _girlfriend_ now, and they'd just started trying to flex their -- weak, so weak -- spiritual powers more deliberately. It itched at him, that he didn't quite know what to do in either situation. That he was probably doing something wrong. He'd never wanted to do things so exactly right before.

"Maybe we're not supposed to do this. Or... not this way," he added, gesturing towards the obliterated circle. "We could check the books at the temple."

"Do you think your father has anything that might help us? Do you think we should ask him?" Taki's voice was strained. "We haven't finished going through my grandfather's things."

"I don't know. There's just so much there. We could be doing that forever," Tanuma said, rubbing his eyes. He took Taki's hand. "I'm sorry. I just wish we could find the answer already."

She squeezed his hand. "I know. Me too. We can try the temple's books tomorrow. It's probably good to take a break for now, anyway. My parents will be home soon. They never stop me, but I don't think they like seeing me do these things.”

"I just wish there was someone else to ask.”

Taki tilted her head. "We could try Nyanko-sensei."

"Ponta?" Tanuma's eyebrows were raised. "He might not tell Natsume, but is he really going to tell us how to summon a youkai? He'll say we're meddling."

"Or that Natsume is his and he'll protect him by himself, I guess," Taki said.

Tanuma shook his head. "I don't know. Let's try the temple first." He stretched his arms up and yawned. "I'd better get back," he said. "It's almost dinnertime." He stood up and reached out a hand to pull Taki up as well, catching her in a hug.

"We'll figure it out," she said, voice muffled by his shoulder. She looked up at him. "We just have to try harder."

The next day, she was at Tanuma's by noon. He led her to the temple's meager collection of texts. "Well," she said, looking at what was a scant dozen of books. "We'll be able to sort through them quickly. Is your father going to mind?”

“He's out today. So this is the perfect chance.”

Paging through the books, Tanuma was astounded that his father had learned any exorcist arts at all. Most of the books appeared to be philosophical in nature. "Maybe he's hidden the best ones," Tanuma muttered.

"What?" Taki said, looking up from one of the biggest books.

"There have to be more," Tanuma said. "My father learned how to blast youkai with spiritual power from somewhere, and it's not in any of these." He stood up. "Let's look around.”

They looked through the main hall, through his father's bedroom, even in the kitchen cupboards. Nothing of interest.

"Maybe there's a secret storage shelf or something," Taki suggested. Tanuma started tapping on the walls.

"I was kidding," she said, putting a hand on his arm.

A frown stole across his face before he could stop it. "Sorry.” He ran his hand through his hair before stuffing his hands in his pockets.

She shook her head to indicate that it was all right. "Could you ask your father?" she asked, interlocking her fingers and stretching her arms above her head.

"It'd probably make him worry.” He started walking back to his bedroom and added, "But I could just pretend I was interested, and not say that I needed to do anything with the information."

"Don't you think he'll guess?"

"Maybe. I don't know." Tanuma paused. "We used to talk about this stuff a lot. I think. Before my mother died.”

Taki reached out to touch Tanuma on the elbow. "I'm sorry.” She waited a moment and then added, "Was your mother spiritually strong?"

"I don't know," Tanuma said. He sat on his bed with a thump, leaning against the wall. She followed him and sat down, a little uncertainly, on the edge of the bed next to him. He pulled her in, and as she put her head on his shoulder, he added, "I don't remember much about her. I should, but I don't. Mostly I just remember... my father worrying." He sighed. "He was always worrying. About her, about me."

Taki took his hand and warmed it in both of hers. His hands were always cold; it probably worried her just like it worried his father. "I could ask him," she said. "If that would be all right. I could just act like I'm the new girlfriend trying to find out everything about your family." They exchanged lopsided, shy smiles. "That part would be true, anyway."

"You could try it.” He chewed his lip. "It would be bad if you didn't like each other."

Taki laughed. "I hope that won't happen! I hope your father likes me. I'm sure I'll like him." She tipped her head to the side. "So are you going to invite me to dinner tonight?"

"Tonight?"

"Why not? The sooner we can find out about how your father got trained, the sooner we might be able to learn something useful."

"And the sooner we can help Natsume." Tanuma nodded. "Okay."

Having resolved that there was nothing left for them to research, they passed the time as two teenagers falling in love might be expected to. Tanuma hated that he was still so fumbly and unsure. Bodies were such odd things. Especially other people's bodies, though there were moments when his own surprised him: reactions he never would've anticipated, sensations he couldn't have dreamed of. They were learning, both of them, and enjoying it -- at least he thought she was enjoying it, too. But his lack of confidence still distressed him. Not enough to make him stop, of course.

It was late afternoon when they started lazily pulling clothes back on, smoothing out wrinkles and finger-combing their hair. Tanuma straightened the bedcovers. They didn't know when Tanuma's father would be home, and they still weren't sure how to handle Taki staying for dinner. “If you're still here at dinnertime, he wouldn't just send you home," Tanuma said. “But maybe you should go, so I can ask him alone.”

"You're the one who knows him best.”

Tanuma twisted his mouth in thought. "Yes, but I've never done this before. I think it will be all right; he'll just be happy to meet another one of my friends. My girlfriend, I mean." He met her eyes and shook his head. "I'm still not used to saying that. Not because I don't like it!" he clarified, wincing as he saw a glimmer of hurt flash across her face. "I'm just not used to it."

Taki poked a finger at his cheek. "Look how red you are. Maybe we should practice. I'll start," she said, turning towards an imaginary person. "I'm Kaname's girlfriend.” She couldn't hold back a nervous titter as she looked back at him. “Your turn!”

He took a breath. "I'm Tooru's” -- he stuttered just a little over the name -- “boyfriend. She's my _girlfriend_ ," he said, giving the word an exaggerated emphasis. They giggled.

"Let's go see what's in the kitchen," Tanuma said, still red-faced.

Taki took a knife and cutting board, despite his protestations that she was a guest. “You're much faster than I am,” she said, eyeing the growing pile of carrot slices Tanuma was producing, “but I can still help.”

A minute later, she prompted, "Say it again. Like you mean it."

"I do mean it," he insisted. "This is Taki Tooru," he said. "My girlfriend."

"Very nice to meet you," came a voice behind them. They both jumped and wheeled around to find Tanuma's father smiling at them.

"Father," Tanuma said. His mouth worked silently for a second. "This is --"

"I know. I overheard. Your girlfriend." He beamed at Taki. "You'll be staying for dinner, I hope." And it was Taki's turn to blush as she stuttered out an affirmative response.

As they ate, Tanuma's father was only too happy to speak about his family. Of course, Tanuma thought; he probably didn't meet that many people who were interested.

Taki steered the conversation away from Tanuma's mother, something he appreciated. He didn't mind talking about her to Taki -- he was glad she asked -- but he thought it might turn melancholy if both he and his father were talking about her.

"What kinds of things did you learn when you were studying for the priesthood? You learned how to deal with youkai, right?" Taki bit her lip, and Tanuma choked back a laugh. She was wondering, he knew, if that was too obvious.

Tanuma's father stilled. "Now what are you asking that for?" he asked. He gestured towards Tanuma. "He's sensitive, of course. Is that why? Are you trying to help him?"

Taki's smile was uneasy. Tanuma squirmed and interjected, “It's for a friend.”

"Of course.” His father nodded. “Yes, I learned something about youkai when I was becoming a priest." His smile was gentle, relaxed. "I learned something even more from your friend Natsume."

Tanuma's eyes widened. "What did you learn?"

"That humans and youkai must coexist. That they aren't all to be feared or chased away." His father twitched his shoulders, a motion almost too small to be a shrug. "Even for you."

Taki cleared her throat and said, "But if you wanted to banish a spirit, you could do that, right?" She rushed on, "Or summon one?"

His father's face tensed. "Natsume didn't tell me directly, but I figured out what I was doing. I was hurting spirits for no good reason." He put a hand on Tanuma's shoulder and said, "I thought it would help you. But that wasn't the way to do it. And if avoiding youkai was going to help, then being around Natsume should make you sick, right?"

Tanuma and Taki froze. Tanuma didn't realize his father knew so much about Natsume's strength, about how the youkai were a daily, inescapable part of his life.

His father shook his head, more vigorously with every second. "Since then I have tried very hard not to interfere with the lives of the spirits, especially in my ignorance." He fixed each of them in turn with a stern look, then picked up his chopsticks and ate a piece of carrot.

"So yes," his father said, turning back towards Taki with a more kindly look. "I did learn something about youkai, when I was studying for the priesthood. I'm still learning about them outside of books."

He launched into an anecdote about the town he'd lived in with Tanuma before they moved to Yatsuhara, and they spent the rest of the evening in light, pleasant conversation that had nothing to do with youkai.

Later that night, walking Taki home, Tanuma said, "I guess that's it, then."

They were holding hands, arms swinging easily between them. Taki looked at him and said, "What do you mean?"

"We're not getting anywhere with your grandfather's books, and my father won't tell us anything."

She dropped his hand and stopped. "So you're giving up?" she said. "Really? If I'd have given up, I'd be dead now."

"Tooru -- "

A tight smile flashed across her face. "Maybe it won't work. Maybe we won't find anything at all that will help. But we're not done yet! Are you really ready to give up?"

He sighed, ran a hand through his hair, and sighed once more. "You're right. I know."

"Let's take a day off," she suggested, taking his hand again. "Maybe we could go on a picnic or something. The weather should be nice tomorrow, I think..." She started listing off places they could go.

"I think he likes you," Tanuma said abruptly. She looked at him again and blushed.

"Are you sure?" Her voice was quiet.

"I do," Tanuma said. He put his hands on her shoulders. "He'd like you anyway, because I do. But I think he liked you, even beyond that."

Taki's breath shot out of her. “I'm glad. I was worried.”

“You didn't have to be,” Tanuma said. “But I understand. Besides,” he said, shooting her a look, “I still haven't met your parents. And I'm nervous. So I understand.”

“I think they'll like you,” Taki said, pursing her lips. “But it won't matter if they don't. I mean, unless they hate you. They think everything my grandfather did is creepy but they're all right with me doing the same things. As long as they don't have to see it. I think if they didn't like you, they would just see that I do like you, a lot.” Face red, she looked down. “And that would be enough for them.”

“But you said unless they hate me.”

She shook her head. “They won't hate you. Nobody could hate you.” She took his hand again and led them along the street. “You should come for dinner soon. If you want.” Her eyes flicked nervously over to him.

“Of course,” he said. “If you want.” His unintentional parroting made him cringe; did it sound like he was mocking her?

“Anyway,” she said, “picnic tomorrow. And then back to work.” She squeezed his hand and put her other one over their clasped hands. “Your hands are always so cold, Kaname!”

Too many conflicting thoughts and feelings: Her parents. Spells. How it was still new and strange and thrilling, the way she always tried to warm his hands. He couldn't voice any of them but managed to nod.

“We'll find something,” she said. “Even if it's not this spell, even if there is no spell. We'll find something. I know it.”

“You're right,” he said, trying to sound confident. “There has to be some way we can help Natsume, and the two of us have the best chance of figuring it out.”

They continued on, in and out of the streetlights' glow as they approached Taki's house. On the corner they paused for a goodnight kiss, Tanuma worrying that her parents saw them through a window, before she went inside.

Something on the edges of his vision caught his attention. He paused and squinted, looking sideways. Not directly; that rarely worked. But yes, there had been movement there, a flicker of something unearthly.

Of course he couldn't see it. He sighed and continued home. Tomorrow they'd take a break, and maybe after that they'd think of something that would work. That was all they could do: keep trying. The alternative was giving up. It felt easier to him, but Taki was right: it wasn't an option at all. And trying hurt less than not trying at all.

He came in, said good night to his father, and went to bed, dreaming restlessly of youkai, half-seen, half-heard, for hours.


End file.
